This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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