i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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