I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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