remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
