if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's the barista slut.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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