It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
