i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He better not be in your backpack
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
