and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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