its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
