so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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