I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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