You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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