Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
