My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I looked at my own cervix.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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