Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize