Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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