you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
