some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
