She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
