mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
