thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
