im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
