So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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