Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize