whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yo dont text me then not text me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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