Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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