haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
