when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
