I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
