your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
