If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
