What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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