How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
