weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
