This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
