When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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