i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
