question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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