im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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