"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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