dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
sex in a hospital.. check
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
