Buhtt sex?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
