May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
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We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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