you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
