went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
