Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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