I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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