If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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