I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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