Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize