I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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