Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
