I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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