Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize