also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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