You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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