dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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