she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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