I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
