If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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