I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
