...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
