I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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