Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
