I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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