So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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