READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
