It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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