first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
