I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
